The Beauty of Desirefulness and Selfulness
Humans naturally want to uplift their fellow Earth travellers. We like to see people joyous and happy, so it is understandable that many are drawn to professions, causes, charitable deeds, even putting up Facebook posts, which seek to assist those in need.
However, if we give to those in need with an attitude of “poor thing, sufferer of circumstance, they cannot help themselves”, we are perpetuating the victim myth that people are not the masters of their own lives, reinforcing the lie that they cannot help themselves, hence not really helping them at all, nor ourselves.
This is charity’s worst face; this is unhelpful, unsustaining, unsustainable giving.
When we indulge this type of charity, we are often also saying, fearing, projecting that it could also happen to us at any time. We think that such ‘misfortune’ is random. My god, that ‘poor soul’ could be ‘poor me’.
But hey, only if we make it so.
When we give to a beggar with the feeling that they are helpless, we exacerbate their, and strangely enough our own, erroneous victim mode.
Sometimes also, we give because we feel guilty for having and others not. Sometimes we give because we think it will bring credit to our own lives – like scoring points in heaven.
“There but for the grace of God go I” is a common cry.
But God didn’t do that. Moreover, we, all individuals together, all volunteers, with all of creation, we are that god. We are that grace. There is no father.
I am my own papa.
On the other hand, if we give with clear joy and love in our heart, in that it is something wonderful for ourselves to simply do, without motive or reason, other than to honour that joy, this helps all life.
Regarding giving, it is heartily recommended that the following video be viewed.
This video of Jessica Jackley speaking to a live audience is warm, stirring, poignant. Jessica spent 3 years with the Grameen Bank in Bangladesh before starting her own similar Kiva enterprise in Africa, dispensing micro loans to people living in harsh economic climates, but significantly, to people with a dream, people with a vision of a particular creative skill that they want to pursue, and who came forward with their requests.
Just $50 will get one man the sewing machine with which he can begin his sartorial art, another $50 purchases all the seeds a woman wants for her commercial vegetable patch, and so on. Inevitably these people then proceed to prosper, even to pay back those loans with pride and appreciation.
To give to one’s own, and another’s dreams and creativity is noble.
All religions, particularly all forms of Christianity and the eastern varieties such as Buddhism, have for centuries, in order to keep its adherents as victims and eternal donors to the church coffers, served up manifold calculated deceptions – based upon extolling the virtues of desirelessness and selflessness, which then millions of adherents attempt to implement.
They even praise poverty.
They equate selfishness with (d)evil.
They call it ego and insist that it must be ‘dropped’.
Hence, there are millions of people who are actually desiring — to be — desireless — or feeling guilty for feeling and pursuing the entirely natural love and desires of oneself!
This senseless f-f-f-f-f-folly serves only to cut us off from the one true sentiment that will help us to create the happiness and abundance we yearn for in life, because by killing desire, by sublimating the self, our dreams are denigrated, extinguished, because contained within our dreams are the unique creative purposes and responses we brought into this life. Are not our aspirations desires?
It’s as beautiful to desire as it is to love.
It is essential, and beautiful, to love oneself.
It is proposed here that two new words be adopted to replace the grossly misunderstood, misapplied yokes of ‘desirelessness’ and ‘selflessness’. Replace them with desirefulness and selfulness (the latter denoting those vital moments when one must be alone to re-center, re-focus, fill up, overflow); two words, both of which, when appreciated and nurtured, lead effortlessly to that satisfying, highly agreeable surplus of energy, inspiration and spirit where true love, giving, fun, wealth and creativity can blossom and thrive and spill over into existence.
Love desire, love your dreams, love self, love abundance, love your thinking, love allowing.
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Copyright © 2011 by Clive Lawler
Since re-written and updated This edition 2014. All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from Clive Lawler.
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