De-magnetizing our relationships begins with making heart centered choices out of personal and energetic sovereignty. This is very different than a co-dependent relationship with family members, soul mates, twin flames and even work mates.
This article answers three questions about shifting to heart centered relationships
1.) How do I have a relationship with another person, have interpersonal communication, and communicate with them from my heart?
2.) How do I make choices for my thoughts, words and actions in a heart-based way?
3.) And how do I begin to shift relationships that are long term and steeped in magnetism?
I recently wrote about magnetic relationships and how to recognize them. In my view, the first step in de-magnetizing our relationships is to make the choice to act and intend out of our own heart. See How to De-Magnetize Co-Dependent Relationships
But doesn’t love exist within magnetic, co-dependent circumstances, you ask?
The quality of love is very different when coming from a place of needing the other person to complete ourselves (magnetism), and instead come from a place of wholeness and personal sovereignty.
How to Speak and Act From Your Heart
Here is a process to know what to do or say when we are faced with a person in a potentially magnetized relationship. This quote is from an article I wrote about how to stay in your heart when the other person maybe isn’t speaking, acting, doing, or thinking from theirs:
“Here’s how to check in before you act or speak:
Take one second, take two,
to put that statement or action you are about to speak or do
into your heart and see how it feels:
~ If it makes you feel more superficially powerful, and you resist putting the statement in your heart, then it’s from your ego and you’re about to engage and perpetuate a magnetized relationship.
~ If you put the act or statement in your heart (before you say or do it!), and, for example, you feel that feeling like a year from now you would still be happy with this statement, action or behavior, then go for it.
I consciously choose to bring awareness to my interaction, in the moment: I speak the words, or I take the action, if doing the act or saying the words feels expansive, loving, if it resonates, if it feels comfortable.” (2)
By checking in with our heart before we speak or act, we are able to remain true to ourselves.
I’m not going to brush over this aspect of demagnetizing relationships: I have stood in a kitchen and had someone smash pottery and yell at me while I chose the exact steps above and did not engage.
When we make new choices, the people who depended on us being the south magnet to their north magnet, may react with love or they may react in dramatic ways. The first step is always to ensure our personal safety in interpersonal relationships. And yes, I calmly and quickly as I could left that situation in the kitchen.
I have also stopped engaging with someone and years later had coffee with them and experienced them in their own new state of personal growth. It can take time, sometimes a long time, for the other person to realize you will no longer choose to magnetize with them.
If you continue to choose heart alignment, and heart-centered words and actions, then their choice is to find another person to magnetize with of similar energies to the ‘old’ you, or to – eventually – accept you for who you are.
Yielding or ‘Letting Go’ in Relationships
The thing is that interpersonal relationships, and past dramas, are very emotionally addictive.
We get addicted to being stimulated in the same way, over and over, even if it is an interaction that results in a negative emotion for us and causes us anxiety, worry, frustration, blame, shame, and so on.
The repetitive behavior, in relationships personal or professional, can be unhealthy, if you have shifted to heart-based communications and the above set of responses is not working. That is, if we face a person, over and over, and we act or speak with what feels right in our hearts, and that person cannot make a connection back to us.
This lack of connection feels to us like “not trusting” or “anxiety around that person” or “wondering if they get it” or “fooling ourselves that this is working”.
If the situation is not working, even though we are following the rules of heart-based communication, described above, then sometimes yielding in the situation, the argument, the lack of understanding, our emotional “stake in it” – is the only outcome that allows us to continue our journey in the truth of who we are.
We have the choice to diverge onto another path.
We can choose a heart-centered life for ourselves, and we can create heart-centered relationships, also.
~Susan V Lacerra
(1) This article is reprinted from my website InspiredStrategies.com originally published July 17, 2015. This is now my learning website – come on over and check out courses on expanding consciousness, ascension, spirituality, quantum physics, sacred geometry, your galactic self, and more.
(2) Quote from: “Intractable Situations, and, A Spiritual Way to do a Social Contract or Business Contract” by Susan V Lacerra, published 2015 on InspiredStrategies.com and LinkedIn.
Original Link: Inspired Strategies
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© 2018 Susan Lacerra. All Rights Reserved. Permission is given to share this article on other blogs and websites as long as the text is posted in its entirety without alteration and with the accompanying photos, and with the author’s credit, copyright and live website links included in the article. Check out the blog and more photographs at www.SusanLacerra.com. Photograph of balanced stones free license from Unsplash.com by Deniz Altindas.
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