defragWhat happens when you clean up and defrag a computer? Usually, just after an upgrade comes the slowness of a bloated hard disk drive. Something like baked bean effect without the sound and fury.

Then comes the really fun part, wandering through the list of stuff. Trying to work out if a row of numbers and letters without description is a keeper or a deleter. Will it stop my favorite game or precious document if I delete it, or will it just make a hole in the list?

On the few occasions, with screwed up courage and mindful of the size of IT techy’s bills, you firmly plonk the index finger down in DEL. Eyes closed, of course.

The message, ‘Are you sure you want to delete this item?’  NOOOOO! It has to be important, reneg on delete…

So, now we can defrag the disk, a look of horror on the face when it tells you there are 5786 files to defrag and take holiday, ’cause it is going to take 32 hours and 47 minutes to fill the holes.

I was engaged in this ‘fun’ task today, and me thinks it’s like ascension for US. Standing on the Other side of the Pearly Gates, our Hard Disk is clean of viruses, packed with programs, help files and a power cord that stretches all the way back to the Source.

All ready for take off, bucket list firmly clutched in the hand, hugs all round and wheeee, you step through the gates.

First thing that happens is you develop bad sectors and memory loss, HDD is corrupted. No, not stealing stuff, but not functioning as we were meant to, and it gets worse. Well meaning entities convince you to download a bunch of programs that have the ability to wreck the precious bucket list. They have been fooled, and the sneaky ones use their programs to pack it full of ads and unsolicited useless rubbish.

You forgot the IT Techy is at the other side of the gates, until one day a glimmer of light and a friend arrives. Help is a hand.

It turns on the bump of curiosity and like a two-legged bloodhound, you found a trail to sniff!! A URL to dig down through.  Heaps of error messages, some you have hit ignore, some the fingernails are chomped!

Ascension with all the potholes and skinned knees is ahead, gotta catch up…

Defragging here is not measured in hours as much as an all day everyday occurrence. Each file is examined, cleaned and repacked into useful sequences, the more it’s done, the easier it gets and the faster things happen.

Downloads of program upgrades are automatic (don’t we know it!).

Bad sectors are repaired and function keys are great. You will be defragging and cleaning viruses, removing bad sectors daily. Oh yes, don’t forget to clean the screen and vacuum the dust.

It’s called housekeeping, only this time there is so much expert help, all highly qualified and so keen assist in renewing your bucket list. It takes a while, but you will KNOW your HDD is upgraded and new programs downloaded. Virus protection installed.

Say thank you, nicely now!

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