Yesterday, something came to my attention that sent me into a rage.
The why of this is not important.
The information triggered me into a violent reaction and I put my hands over my face and tears sprang forth from my eyes as I screamed out a guttural cry into my environment. I was shaking with anger, disgust and feelings of injustice.
Two people observed my reaction. One held the space for me in silence as I processed the feelings and the other put their hand on my back and told me to calm down.
No. I will not calm down. I will not hold these feelings within me. They are not mine to hold.
No. I will not be a good girl and play by your rules.
No. I will not hold this energy in order to make anyone more comfortable.
No. I will not consent to how society expects me to react to such traumatic feelings.
No. I will not stuff these feelings down in order to pretend to myself or to anyone else that they do not exist.
No. I will not play act that I am OK when I am suffering.
Yes. I will feel these feelings fully, and sit within my own space and allow them to course through my body.
Yes. I will open the Sacred Vent Space and allow them to be released from my body and my energy space to be recycled by the Universe.
Yes. I will accept that my reaction was perfect. It was necessary. It was something lurking that needed to be addressed within myself, given attention, given honor and allow it all the time it needed to be processed.
From early childhood, we have all been conditioned to react to deep stressors in a way that favor the flight response in the fight or flight pairing of survival reactions.
Why is this?
Because a fearful being is easier to control than an angry one.
When a being is in fear, they tend to cling to control structures in an effort to feel more comfortable. They tend to follow the lead of others.
They are happy to give their power away in exchange for the perceived safety that the power structure offers, but invariably never delivers.
Isn’t that interesting?
From early childhood, we have all been conditioned to stuff our anger in so many ways in order to make others comfortable and adhere to societal norms related to what is appropriate behavior and expression.
Anger and rage do not stay well hidden within a being.
They will continue to knock on the door of our consciousness, until they are either healthfully addressed, or they will blow the doors off our world.
Anger and rage are powerful energies that are interpreted as human emotions and reactions within the body. They are indeed responsive energies with immense power. They also express with amazing velocity. They are actually of an extremely high vibration, which may seem counter-intuitive to those following traditional spiritual pathways.
When the body encounters an energy of immense velocity, it can do only one of two things. It can brace for impact and suffer the consequences of that, or it can open to the energy and allow it to flow through.
Imagine two trees in a forest. One is a weeping willow and the other is an old growth oak. Imagine a tornado spinning through the area and impacting those two trees.
The willow whips its flexible branches in the thundering winds and relinquishes control of its limbs, flowing with the power of the storm as it passes. It may lose some trailing branches in the process certainly, but it remains standing at the end of the storm.
The mighty oak may indeed have deep roots, but its structure and presentation limit its flexibility. When a powerful storm impacts the tree, its ability to withstand the force without breaking is limited.
When we are hit by the storm of rage, and we accept that we deserve to feel all our emotions, we are flexible like the willow.
When we open ourselves to allow these feelings to course through us and release them to the universe, we are doing the most heart-centered thing for ourselves and for others.
We are showing, by the example of our experience, that it is OK to feel strongly and express fully exactly what we are feeling.
We are also loving ourselves enough to know that this energy desires to have full reign and focus in this very moment, with no delay and no governance from outside forces or societal structures.
We open to the Universe and give it the space it needs to be released fully.
This is transmutation work on the deepest level for ourselves and also for the collective.
As beloved children of the Universe, we are fully supported in the release of our primal rage and anger. It flows out of our fields and into the ethers of potential, where its power can be fully utilized. The universe opens wide to accept this energy and recycles it for further creation of the new.
For anger and rage are energetic reactions to our individual observations of experiences and expressions that we do not wish to include in our own energy fields, our own perception, our own world.
At this time on planet, we are collectively dealing with the revelation of much that has been hidden. This is the natural progression of darkness being exposed to the ever increasing light.
Much of this information is overwhelming and triggering, even to the tender of heart and those consciously on the spiritual path.
Many spiritual practices warn against the expression of anger, indicating that it can lower the vibration, cause chakra wounding or blow a hole in the energy field.
Each person gets to choose their own practice, but for me, any practice that inhibits my full energetic expression and invites me to run from, stuff or pretend that strong emotions do not exist within me, does not serve my highest good, and my ultimate responsibility as a sovereign being is to fully serve my highest good on my path.
Every part of our incarnation, every part of our emotional make up, is valid and useful to our evolution along the path; anger and rage included.
When we are triggered to experience these strong emotions related to energies we choose not to include in our own energy fields and we understand the process of transmutation, we understand then why this energy is not ours to keep.
We simply read the sign posts that triggered it and allow it full reign to flow through to be released.
It is not necessary to analyze the reasons for the response in order to transmute the energy.
I would posit, through my own life experience and those of dear friends, that the incessant dissection and interpretation of emotional responses literally locks us in a static loop that disallows the release and healing that the experience triggered in the first place.
If it is coming up so strongly, it wants out.
This is not the time for interpretation, when we may feel completely out of control.
We may feel that the energy is too powerful and may overwhelm us. We may be fearful of the strength of our reactions. We may wish to get rid of these feelings by distancing ourselves from them, trying to deny them or stuffing them back where they came from.
We are magnificent incarnate beings with full support of the Universe. We are stronger than we were ever told, and just like breathing, we have the innate ability to transmute these powerful energies.
We can simply open the door to our hearts, bless it and allow it to go on its way.
Transmuting this energy and releasing it, allows it full expression while negating its creative power within our field, our mind and our body.
When we don’t understand the process, and we direct this anger and rage at the situation, individual or experience that triggered it, we anchor strong energetic ties for that energy to bounce right back on us. We literally increase the power of the triggering event with the powerful energy of our rage.
What we resist persists, and what we fight simply grows stronger. These are powerful energy constructs that are always true. No exceptions.
Except when we release these feelings and energy directly to the universe, we drop the baggage by the side of the road or give it over to God. What ever language works for the individual.
I would be remiss if I did not mention how absolutely uncomfortable it can be when another focuses their feelings of rage upon us. These feelings within us are our intuitive knowing that the energy is not ours and has no right to enter our field unless we give it permission to do so.
If we hurt someone, it is always the kindest thing to do for the other and for ourselves to apologize and make amends as best we can, but often the strong energy remains with the other being.
Sometimes this type of energy is directed towards us through no fault of our own, and it is in this case that it is imperative to remember that this energy is not ours and not appropriate for us to take on.
When we understand that their experiences and feelings are fully their own and we set strong energetic boundaries, we retain our own personal power and do not give the other power to create within our field.
Holding the space for the experience of others bears witness and honors their sovereign right to think and feel however they desire by their own free will choice while maintaining our own sovereignty and our free will choice not to feed a single particle of our energy into that which we do not choose.
This is our only point of power. It is magnificent in its strength, but it resides firmly within our own energy field and heart center. This is the way we create as a divinely empowered human walking in mastery; within our own field, while honoring this mastery within all others.
After my experience of rage, opening to the feelings fully and releasing them for transmutation to the Universe, I sensed a feeling of hollowness within my being as if a huge festering boil had popped and the pressure was released. Copious energy poured forth from my being, creating a void within me. It was as if I had energetic surgery and a portion of me that was diseased had been removed.
With deep love for myself, I treated myself gently, enveloping my field, my heart, my inner child, my mind and my body with a healing blanket of love and kindness.
I opened my heart wide and filled this void space to overflowing with unconditional love. It is in the soothing and the loving after the release of rage that we are truly healed.
As we move through life, there is no guarantee that these types of feelings will never again be triggered within us, but when we understand our right to feel them, our powerful ability to sit with and honor them and our innate gift to release and transmute them, we are empowered to step more fully into the all of life as the sovereign observer, instead of trying to control our path in order to avoid things that make us feel strongly.
This is the power and path of the master. To understand that all experience can come into our view, but we get to choose exactly how we react to it and whether we wish to include it in our energy field or not.
When we love ourselves fully, honor ourselves powerfully, with the full support and unconditional love of All that Is we indeed walk this path of mastery that is our blessed birthright as beloved children of the Universe.
Written for Gaia Scenics’ View
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