Ah, the joy of meeting someone new and finding resonance with them! We feel so good when our energies vibrate similarly, and we look forward to continuing down that path in all aspects of our new relationship.

And then, we get to know them and realize that they are not just like us, and that sinking feeling starts to set in.

We Are An Average Sum of Many Vibrations

The truth of the truth is, we are not a single vibration, constantly humming along at one frequency, but a melding of many different vibrations.

With each experience or perception we reflect on, our vibration shifts. This is based on how deeply we embrace or reject a life concept, and how fully we have either integrated it into our field or rejected it.

Certain aspects of our lives, or certain beliefs, are more important to us, and we devote more energy to those aspects. We then tend to vibrate in such a way as to attract other individuals who have similar resonance.

This is the basic formula of law of attraction, but the application of the law tends to break down because many see resonance and vibration as a static thing, or they don’t understand the other parameters that draw beings into their life spheres.

Life Phases, Locales and Relationships

In our early years, relationships and friendships are not so much resonance based as they become in our mature years.

They are place, time and action specific.

Think back on life, and you will see how this is so.

As a child, the fodder for friendship came from your family relationships or your geographic neighborhood.

As you got older and entered school, that was the pool from which relationships could be selected.

As you got a little older, relationships could develop based on your individual interests within the pool of geography.

If you played a certain sport, you met and made friends with other kids who played that sport, and tended not to come into close relationships with kids who didn’t.

If you had a hobby such as ballet or music, you met and hung out with others who enjoyed the same thing.

As we grew and expanded into life, you met and interacted with others who were in the same life phase as you.

College kids hung with other college kids and made friends, only to drift away as pairs married and became parents. Those old friends re-entered your life circle, usually when they too became parents.

We did the best we could with the locations and life phases we were in to find beings who resonated with us at those levels, and people came into our lives and left them based on those parameters.

The Ancient Biology of Relationships

Humans are clan animals at their base, and there are instinctual drives to find like individuals to associate with.

The drive for contact and interaction is strong, and based on the need to learn from other individuals in the group how to operate within the clan and the environment at large.

Individuals raised without physical contact, or in isolation, do not develop in the same fashion as those raised within a group. They do not learn the basics of community, which is an overlay to instinctual biology, and thus cannot interact appropriately with others.

This is inborn in all advanced animal species and this drive allows breeding pairs to meet, interact appropriately and reproduce, in order to pass on their DNA to a new generation.

But here is the thing.

Humans have evolved in ways that create amazing diversity across the wide swath of this world. They have adapted to many different environments and ways of being.

Life has also evolved in many areas that allow humans to focus their lives beyond just the biological imperative of passing down their DNA and securing their basic survival needs.

As self-perceiving beings, they have preferences that go far beyond survival needs, and these preferences become extremely important once basic needs are met.

Relationships in Modern Times

Humans have a deep desire to be loved and understood. As magnificent creator beings, they want to share their passions and explore new things together in relationship, and if they don’t find this in locale and phase-based relationships they will expend a tremendous amount of energy in order to find it.

With the advent of faster transportation, communications and media, many entirely different populations and ways of being came into view for a large portion of the earthly population. These other cultures opened us to the understanding that there are many ways to live successfully as humans.

They showed us all what was possible.

Locale-based relationships and the need to fit into our birth cultures and beliefs were no longer necessary for survival. We could move anywhere and take up any belief or cultural system we resonated with.

Some humans, indeed, move across the world for survival reasons, such as the many waves of immigrants over history, but presently we are seeing many people moving in order to pair up with other resonant beings.

I have a number of friends who packed up and moved to new countries in order to be with individuals they met and developed a relationship with online.

I also know folks who moved to newly formed conscious or interest-based communities in order to be with others who have similar ideas and resonant life goals.

With the grip of physical locale and survival released, the world certainly opens up in terms of what is possible for interpersonal relationships.

Maturity and The Shifting Desires of Relationships

Additionally, as we mature and get settled into our lives, we tend to want more out of relationships than just place and phase-based experiences.

We want people who understand us on a deeper level and hold similar interests and beliefs as we do.

The things that made up our predominant vibration in our past, the things that were most important to us and formulated a major portion of our identity, tend to mellow as we shift life-phases and begin to mature as individuals removed from role identity.

Our overall belief systems that imbue us with our basic formula for living our lives can also shift and this leads us into new territory.

As we release the old, and search for the new, our vibration may vary wildly as we pick up and examine with deep curiosity new ideas, hobbies or lifestyles, and just as quickly sometimes put them down again.

A stream of new relationships become available at this point based on our new vibration, and as we have dropped the basic control functions of locale and life-phase based relationships, we finally feel we have the opportunity to meet our clan that love us for who we really are and not for where we are.

The Total Resonance Hack

We come together with individuals in this new way via resonance points.

As I stated before, we are a culmination of many different vibrations, and we lead with the vibration that is most important to us at the time.

In this fashion, we meet individuals who are also resonating in a similar fashion because of a similar passion.

It is like putting a sign on the windshield or a bumper sticker on our cars.

Looking for Love.

Looking for Spiritual Seekers.

Looking for Nature Lovers.

Yes, we do put out our own personal WANT ADS right on the surface of our energy fields, which vibrate out in waves into the wide world with our predominant vibration.

The universe draws similar vibrations to us and we meet at these resonance points, like drawing lines on a piece of paper that intersect at various angles.

Again, what joy, what amazing joy, to meet someone who resonates with us and holds similar passions or creative desires and wishes to explore them with us.

Then, we begin in earnest to explore with them, and we find out about the many places where they are not in resonance with us, and our hearts hit the floor.

Newsflash. No one is ever going to resonate with us on every single issue.

No one is every going to be exactly like us, hold the same beliefs as us and have the same likes and dislikes as us.


Because no one is exactly the same as us!

We are each unique reflections of spirit incarnate in body doing our own thing and reflecting our experience back to the universe.

We experience life from a unique perspective, and choose through our free will sovereign choices what to include in our energy field.

We observe the experience of others in order to see what is possible to include or exclude from our energy fields as we move forward.

Without an alternate perspective, there can be no preference.

Without an alternate experience, there can be no understanding.

Without a variety of expressions, there can be no free will choice.

Resonance is the Starting Point

The similarities in resonance draw us to each other, but they are only meant as an attractor in order to bring us together.

They are not set in stone, and they will shift as we shift.

They are meant as a starting point for exploration and understanding of the unique path of another, as they share their story with us and we share our story with them.

They are meant to show us that there need not be any swallowing of complete belief systems or ways of being that were foisted on humans in the past.

They teach us, on an individual basis, that human life and belief is an eclectic process and each of us is living our own hand-made life to a greater or lesser degree.

They are also practice for learning that we are not here to change another, or force our will or way of being on another.

This lesson may take a very long time, and we may go through periods where we reject others because they are not exactly like us. Then, we try to force our will and beliefs on others, and finally we try to debate or compromise.

The Joy of True Acceptance in Relationships

Ultimately, in maturity and self-acceptance, we allow others to be who they really are, because it is of paramount importance for us to be who we truly are.

When we get to this level of relationship, where we step forward as who we truly are and allow another to do the same thing, the real sharing and understanding can begin, in deep knowing that we are safe from the pressure to change in order to belong or be loved.

In this relaxing space of self-love, acceptance and peace, we can explore communion with another, or a group of others, and truly expand our perceptions and understandings of the immense diversity of life experience here on planet.

Isn’t this what we all truly want? To be accepted in our wholeness and allow others to express to us their wholeness?

I have been blessed on this path to meet many beings in this space of complete acceptance, where we can each hold differing life experiences and share from a place of wanting to understand, while not feeling any pressure to conform to sameness.

This is where the juice of relationship lies, and it is so deliciously refreshing!

It is also important to note that the application of this new acceptance construct of relationship can shift older relationships that are based on family ties.

When we move into the area of sharing who we truly are, with a deep desire to understand who others truly are, we release the blocks that hold these relationships static, allowing them to fully blossom, maybe for the first time.

As beloved children of the universe, we are supported in every moment in our quest to find resonance with others, while maintaining our unique and sovereign nature.

Beautiful and interesting souls are delivered to our doorstep through these resonance points, and when we relax into the knowing that we were never, ever, meant to be exactly alike, a world of exploration opens up for us that will vastly deepen our understanding of the variety of incarnational experiences here on the earthly plane.

Written for Gaia Scenics’ View

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