going with the flow… or: Writer’s Block …

Going with the flow is something I’ve more and more aligned to during the past twenty-five-plus years.

In the beginning, it was difficult to give up control and relax with things not going my way.

Over time, it’s become so exhausting to, with my will power, fight against divine will that it now heavily sucks whenever I even attempt to.  Good warning system, I’ve more or less learned the lesson, and rarely attempt to anymore.

As for my pronounced cyclic nature, this means that, at times, I easily do something for fifteen hours the day and at other times I don’t do anything at all. There’s just no juice for it, nothing flows.

I’ve long given up on fulfilling duties and pushing myself to doing things that bore, annoy or exhaust me; only what brings me joy is what keeps me going, ehem, makes me start moving in the first place. (Can you imagine that I’m completely useless in the corporate world?)

Practically, this shows in not haven written an article for our blog in months. Nothing comes up in me that wants to be expressed. Lots of bubbling underground, but the flow for it hasn’t jumped in.

On our Gaia Scene Forum, that’s no issue anymore. I’ve let go of ‘I have to do this and that’. Even when not in writer mode, I every day tend to my beloved community space and share by dropping only a sentence or two.

At times, others call in the flow for me.

It feels as if my treasure chest is open and people draw from it the gems they need at this point of time. My writing easily flows in response to an energetic call in community; just by myself, I have not much to say.  An empty page on the screen calls for no-thing, it only mirrors the vast space of my innate emptiness. (And I can also call it ‘writer’s block’, heheh.)

During our last crew meeting, I noticed that something’s teasing me to shift here.

Flow and Alignment

Up to now, I’ve been basically attuned to Being, and only move into Doing when the flow carries me into and through it. As I surrender to the Now-moment, I happily rest in not doing a thing when nothing flows – mostly, that is, some programmed ‘I should be productive’ blends in once in a while, but it doesn’t set off reaction patterns anymore.  At other times, I joyfully work my butt off; when the flow comes and catches me, everythng’s easy.

While I expressed this way of life to my crew mates who well know my nature in this respect, something dawned in me; I haven’t felt and thought it through as yet, but I want to share it with you anyway, like opening a loop and inviting this space to be filled with more energy and wisdom.

The truth is: there’s always a flow. Life flows, creation flows. Constantly.
Only I don’t flow with it.

It happens when I have something in mind. but the flow goes in another direction. These are the times when nothing seems to move for me. Or rather, it doesn’t move in areas where I desire movement.

According to my intent, my channels only open in certain ways; when my intent is too specific and narrow, not general enough, the flow doesn’t find a channel in me.

While writing this here, I realize that what blocks my channel from authoring more blog posts is that there are a few articles bubbling in me that haven’t found their expression as yet.  They serve as a lid to my treasure chest.

Instead of generally intending ‘may a lovely blog post flow through me today’, I’ve been calling on the flow for specific articles; and felt cut off all writing energy when my desire wasn’t fulfilled.

Navigating my ship

Hence, I’m called to change my attitude towards writing.  Open my channels wider so there are more venues where the flow can catch me.

The unwritten articles will get written in divine timing. Or never.  In the meantime, other things want to be expressed.

It’s ok to stare at an empty page for some time; when I intent for it, something will come and flow through me into the keyboard onto the screen into the world. It doesn’t need to cover what I initially wanted to write about; doesn’t need to align with my internal perfectionism; doesn’t need to satisfy my desire for conclusions; it can open loops without closing them, or even be just some musings.

I Am captainSomething’s shifting that brings more mastery to my life. I can’t fully grasp it as yet, but it’s juicy stuff that’s waiting here.

It better aligns me with my realization that I’m flowing in the ocean of Oneness; not like a leaf in the currents, but on a ship that is my body and energy field.

While the wind blows as it wills and the ocean’s tides draw on my ship and move it, I AM the captain of my ship who sets the intent; the navigator who sets the course; and the sailor who sets the sails according to the wind.

In many areas of my life I’m mastering this already; going with the flow while commanding my ship in response to the tides. Why not with writing? New challenge here^^ …

Written for Gaia Scenics’ View

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