surfWould I lie to you? I don’t want to stand on a painted sheet of plywood, struggling to keep my balance, whilst avoiding sharks and stingrays, and rips and drowning…

So, why does the Universe keep sending Waves? I wave back, hand signals only, ‘cos I’m NOT getting wet this time. I tried it once and lasted a massive 1.5 seconds, which I add seemed like 2/3rds of a lifetime. Did you know seawater sometimes (often) tastes like something the denizens made as an offering?

The latest is, the Universe wants me to manifest, huh, I want me to manifest. All these waves are making me seasick. I hope that is the cause, otherwise I’m pregnant and I have been told you need a special additive for that to happen. Furthermore, it would be a bl**dy miracle as I am a LOL (little ole lady). Ha, Gotcha there, back to the waves.

I cannot see them, I just sometimes wobble across the lounge room like a drunk with tight shoes. I would have you know I am as sneaky as the Universe because, muhahaha, I placed the furniture just right as a catchers mitt. I only fall down the back stairs, I bounce, forgetting large pot plants are much harder that furniture. The bruise was more spectacular than the time I got dumped.

Waves scare me, if they are too big, where do I put the leftovers. I mean you can’t just roll them up and put the leftovers in the bin. Not respectful.

Good bad or indifferent, we all get to surf the wave, so the Channels tell us. They don’t care about the lack of skill, they have two attitudes – gleeful or smug, ‘I know something you don’t know,’ and hand on heart piously advising,’I’m here to help.’

I Need Surfing Lessons, Not Pious

Apropos of the Denizens is the wave that big and powerful, even the Whales get beached. What chance does this wave weed have, 90kg and 90 tonne don’t equate.

I love the sea and the people who live in it, I love the birds and the trees, wind and rain are great people. Waves, well I dunno! I might ask the universe if, instead of waves an Angel can come with his bunch of keys take me gently in the palm of his hand and open the bl**dy doors the easy way. Meanwhile, I will try the Manifest thingy for a surfboard that will hold me upright… (as if).

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