I have been pondering about human intimacy. I am not thinking of romantic or sexual intimacy, but more of other forms of intimacy.
There are different ways of feeling intimacy with other people. It can be the feeling of totally understanding each others humor and laughing at the same things. It can be the trust in someone that let us dare to share our most inner thoughts and feelings. It can be the eye contact with a newborn baby that creates a special feeling of connection in our heart. It can be a friendly loving smile between two strangers on the street that for a moment connects them deeply on a heart level, and thus creates a moment of intimacy.
To be able to be intimate with others one has to be able to be intimate with oneself. To be able to be intimate with oneself one has sometimes to learn how, by training on being intimate with others. This is a dance back and forth to deeper and deeper layers of intimacy. As I see it, to be able to be truly intimate with someone else there has to be an amount of trust. Trust in the other person of course, but also in yourself.
When we interact deeply with others we share our energy field, and we share on a deeper level who we are. Intimacy creates an energy field of its own.
It is easy to understand the dynamic if one thinks about how comfortable it can be to engage with someone we trust, how that makes us relaxed in both mind and body and how it opens up our hearts. All these things are reflected in the energy field we have around us, and thus will our energy field be changed, and to a degree, merged during an intimate interaction.
Intimacy is healing. Being intimate with another person no matter on what level makes us expose and thus explore more of ourselves. Being intimate with a person who is able to receive and respond to what we express in deep trust is magical and also healing on a cell level. This is also the reason why it hurts so much when a relationship we meant to be intimate is not working out, because the magic is lost, together with the trust and the healing energy.
Intimacy has the possibility and the ability to reveal the deepest wounds we carry inside. When this happens in a relationship that doesn’t work out, it gets extra painful. It not only hurts that we are no longer able to share who we are, fully. It also hurts when we are no longer able to trust, because in that moment we start closing our hearts.
For me, personally, the feeling of wanting to close my heart is very painful, and at the same time, I do not want to be more hurt or fooled. Lee Harris recently said (on a retreat June 2018 in North Carolina) something about this, that at least for me, feels very soothing. He said: ”Those souls who you have the hottest, most difficult battles with are souls that at some point you trusted so much that you would walk into this with them.”
For me, these words are releasing. They make me stop beating myself up in my human form for being so stupid that I believed in and trusted these persons, during the years. To me, these words explains why, on a soul level, I was reluctant to let go, and why, on a soul level, I did not want to kick their butts or press their noses down in a pile of horse shit. For me, these words makes me understand my own soul better, and thus trust it a bit more than before.
Written for Gaia Scenics’ View
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